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Archive for the ‘parenting’ Category

Day 12 – Do we really need to learn to share?

I have two young daughters who often play together. They also play with neighbor kids and therefore share toys, bikes, and experiences.

I love when kids genuinely play together. They often come up with solutions that some of our leaders could learn to model.

But at times a child will want to play with their own toy by themselves. And whether someone else wants to play with their toy does not really matter to them. It’s their toy and they have no problem saying no.

As adults, we often feel obligated to tell them to “learn to share”. I am often the first one. But I wonder how valid this is. Knowing that my child does have experiences of community, should she always be willing to share what she has? Isn’t it also respecting her than to say “it’s ok for her to be selfish”?

I own a car. While I have no problem lending it to a friend in need of a ride, I also know no one would “force me” to share my car.

So why should we force a child to share? Or even limit their time of pleasure? (as in take turns).

When it is a game or object shared by the community, I love the idea of teaching them the joy of common experience, but when it is something they consider their own, I feel that respecting their desire for play is a much needed allowance.

How does it get any better than that?

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What if our children really did know better?

It is Sunday night, about 8:30 PM and I am trying to put my daughters to bed. They had a lot of fun today, visiting with dinosaurs, drawing on Mommy’s iPad, sleeping, eating, watching TV. Life is good. So why close their eyes and sleep?

Honestly, I just want my “grown up time”. And when my daughter cries for the 100th time “I want more TV”, something inside tells me “what if she knew better?”. So I let her go back to the TV, and of course, within the next 15 minutes, they are both asleep.

Yes, I was told they need a good night sleep, to brush their teeth, to eat their vegetables, etc. But what if they knew what’s best for themselves? Who am I to say they need to be exactly like every other child on the planet? In fact, who knows what every child needs? Not me!

As an adult, I spent a great deal of time remembering what it’s like to be a child. What if we never had to forget?

In all of the growing up I did, I know one thing for sure: I am the only one who knows what’s best for me. So how do I know at what age I know what’s best for me? What if it started at birth? I know that when my child was a newborn, I let her tell me when she was hungry or tired. So when did I start telling my children when they are supposed to eat and sleep?

Yes, there are certain structures (school, family meals) that will influence some of when they should eat or sleep. But I bet you their little bodies know exactly how to adapt to these events. In fact, I bet you the only way for them to adapt and digest properly or get the rest needed is if I do let them tell me when, how much and how long.

If like me you know your child to be a bright light meant to shine on this world (like the song says), will you join me in letting our children tell us what they need?

How does it get any better than this?

Day 2 – Being Ordinary and Superhero

So I acknowledge that I can’t really fully be a superhero unless I recognize that I am also an ordinary person. Superman was Clark Kent and Spiderman was Peter Parker as well. They had lives with faults, insecurities, things missing, hurt, pain and all that we don’t think about when thinking of Superheroes.

Being ordinary, acknowledging the part of us who experiences pain allows the possibility for us to create those miracles. No, I am not saying we need drama to create something better. But in order for a real choice to be made, both options must be available.

Besides, how would we know we are Superheroes if we don’t recognize the part of us who is also ordinary? However, neither part is good or bad. They just are. By acknowledging both sides of our personalities, we are able to powerfully choose.

Yesterday I was a Superhero and I am proud of it. But at night, when I put the girls in bed, I was an exhausted mom who just wanted to rest. And I loved all of my day.

I love knowing that I can create my reality. And I do that by acknowledging and loving all parts of it. Then I make a choice and create powerfully.

What part of your life needs to be acknowledged for you to make a powerful choice?

 

PS: Today I learn to run bars. Go the Access Consciousness website for more information.

 

Day 23 – When the routine gets away

Since I started this challenge, I have been on a steady routine. I have the things I do every day to reconnect and feel good. I AM statements, visualizations, meditation, questions and clearing statements are some of my techniques.

I went away for the week-end and just got back. During the week-end, due to the lack of alone time, I did not use any of my techniques. Everything ent fine and we actually had a great week-end regardless. Then I found out that the cable box was still not working after rebooting it twice. When we called the company, no on could come until Thursday. WHAT?

Now I personally don’t really care if the TV works. Thanks to the internet I have access to the stuff I really want to see. But my kids rely on it. For Ruby, it’s what allows her to go back to sleep when she wakes up wide awake at 3 in the morning and for Maya it’s what allows her to calm down after a full day of summer excitement. Not cool.

I certainly felt an anger rise. Usually, I would acknowledge that anger, and realize everything was going to be OK. (And be grateful that everything is pretty cool indeed). But without the routine of my usual techniques, I felt loss when the emotion arose. It took over and I felt the anger was blinding my better judgement.

So what do I do now? First, I forgive myself. So I had one bad moment? It’s ok, no one got hurt. Then I breathe deeply. Doing that, I invite Spirit to feel my heart with love, and I allow myself to feel better. I am a good mom. I will figure out a way for my kids to wind down. I do appreciate having TV service with no ads. I do appreciate being able to fix it in only a few days.

I feel better. I know I can handle days without my routines. I know who I am and this is getting easier and easier every day.

What routine do you rely on?

Day 5 – The sacred moment

Let’s get down to the real things, will you?

So I made a bad decision at 4:20AM this morning. I decided to force my daughter to go back to sleep. Something I have not attempted for about a week or so, usually letting her free to be from 4AM to about 6AM. Obviously, forcing her did not go well for her, me and the rest of the family.

My heart became very hard. I was like a stubborn 6 year old who only wanted one thing: to know she was heard. And guess who taught me how to get out of it? Yep, my 6 year old daughter!

When she left for sumer camp, I asked for a kiss and she gave me one with no resentment, completely in the moment.

THE MOMENT. The present moment. Now, right now. How many times did I hear there is no other time than now? So I decided that every time I am feeling getting out the vortex, feeling less than happy, I would focus on the present moment.  When I do that, it is really easy to think about something good. It is easy to feel good.

I felt good when I hit the leaves of the tree and smiled at a police officer during my walk. I felt good when I listened to a supra subliminal track that reminded me that everything is possible. I felt good when I was told I did something wrong and sent myself huge waves of love before the self loathing would start. I felt good when I said the gas station attendant’s name and he smiled from ear to ear because someone knew who he was. I feel good right now, writing this, as this is the first time in four days that I am not tired. I surrendered to the present moment. I stopped worrying and started focusing.

I am happy, I am in the Vortex. Done. Right now. That’s all that matters.

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